Flirting With Catastrophe 

THOUGHTS

by Stambi W.

February 8, 2022 I cried today watching my team play. I was unable to participate because of my shoulder. I'm a player who wants to always be in the game.  It's a moment of adversity for me. I'm ready for the challenge. 

February 16. 2022 I woke up in the Ocean Reef Club. I was just in Montevideo, Uruguay. Polar opposite communities. If Montevideo is dirty, ORC is clean. My shoulder weirdly enough feels 10x better. I think of my experience in Montevideo. I've put more time into basketball than any player on the planet. I was born on the court. But I disrespected the basketball Gods early on in my career. They punished me and put me in basketball prison.

I've finally been released from basketball prison. Free at last. It's time to take my player to the appropriate stage and perform.

February 22, 2022 I find myself crying a lot lately.  I haven't expressed myself in such a way so consistently since I was 10 years old. It feels good. I think it's a healthy expression. As a player being productive is the most important. The personality of the player is something that draws in fans. This new crying thing is shaping my personality into something that makes me smile when I look into the mirror. I feel pure. 

March 1, 2022 I just had breakfast with a consultant from Munich here in Kitzbühel at the Grand Hotel. She's been a consult for four years at the firm and began asking me questions about basketball. I informed her I record everything I do. She mentioned I would be an easy client to work for because I keep the data. It's a moment of I knew it. Hahaha. We spoke about different things to maximise the potential of an athlete, and whose the right sponsor for a player. 

March 4, 2022 I just landed in Miami from Istanbul, Turkey. I'm having some deja vu. The last time i landed in the States from Istanbul I was triggered by this emotion by a conversation I had on the flight. That emotion triggered me to begin writing books. Since then I've written 30 books. I had a conversation on this flight that triggered me in a way. I wonder what I will do next.

March 8, 2022 I'm wearing Csillag, I feel like a Star. Sarah sits next to me as we rest our feet on the hardwood floor. It's a close game in the city that Naps. The Cavaliers gather in their huddle. Minutes earlier, I witness Rajon Rondo give instructions to JB. I asked Rondo the question, "Are you the coach?" . He smiled and immediately pointed at JB. I then laughed. But now, it's a close game in the city that Naps. Late game situation, and the Cavaliers have the ball. I catch eyes with Rondo. "Tween, tween, step back from 40!" insinuating this should be the play call for the Cavaliers to go for the win in Indianapolis. He replied, "What's that book you're reading?" . Fuck, I ended up looking down. Grabbing the book, and lifting it up for him to read the title. 

1-0 Rondo? I'm not sure. 

The Cavaliers won the game. 

:(

March 21, 2022 I feel like I look like the player I created all those years on FIFA.

March 30, 2022 I'm at the Ocean Reef Club. I think about the community. The members, equity and social. The guest. The workers. Everyone that makes up the reef. I went and shot some hoops today and thought to myself, " Stambi you've never shot a gun. At least not one you buy from the gun store. But you probably have the best gun on the reef. Does this mean I have the best gun in the world?". I see my arm, my hand, and my fingers as my gun. My basketball shot as my gun. I think I have the best gun in the world. 

April 4, 2022 Monday 3:47am

SONGS

The Korgi's - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime

Beverly Glenn-Copeland - Sunset Village

NLE Choppa - Yak Flow

Yeat - Dub

Gazo - EUPHON

April 22, 2022 Friday 3:24am I just ate two plates of pasta. blah 

April 26, 2022 Tuesday 3:53pm Real Madrid vs Manchester City. An absolute show. It makes me feel like a kid, wanting to be out there on the pitch but dissapointed i'm not old enough or strong enough to participate. Holy fuck. I am old enough. I'm 6'5 , with muscle and speed. Let me go work out. 

June 13, 2022 Monday 7:35 I'm in between Towne & Ditch. I see a field goal, baseball helmet, soccer goal, all belongings to a child. I'm Indy. I smell sports. I feel competition all around. I'm not where I want to be, but I am a player. The best in the game. So today, I'm going to see if I can make a little magic. Attempt 1, here we go.

June 15, 2022 Wednesday 12:47 I've figured out the formula to build the best vehicle. The only question is can I fully build it in a month's time.  

June 26, 2022 Sunday 8:04 I listen to french music. I'm telling you. 5/10 I am listening to french music. Right now I'm listening to Aya nakamura - Plus Jamais (feat. Stormzy). Lee MG is my favorite french artist. He's from Lille. Oh yea, also. I have added three teams of interest to my interest list. The Charlotte Hornets. Paris Basketball Club. Detroit Pistons. I'm headed to the Carmel Dad's Club to watch Ron Rutland's son play some hoops. 

June 29, 2022 Wednesday 8:03 I look out the window I see the water. I'm reminded of all the tears I've cried. I'm reminded of all the people who have told me I don't have emotions. I'm reminded of my aol screename thefaucett. I'm reminded that the present is what matters. g2g. 

July 5, 2022 Tuesday 11:22 Just Dance.

July 18, 2022 Monday 4:30 am. 

1:20am - downlaod music

1:48am - pee

1:49am - brush teeth

1:54am - stretch

2:27am - eat honeydew

2:38am - Porsche to gym

3:03am - body workout

3:50am - protein shake

3:50am - shave 

3:58am - pee 

4:04am - poop 

We're ready to play. 

July 22, 2022 Friday 12:07 Miles and Bailee are stretching. Miles is 4. Bailee is 6. They think all is possible. I relate to them more than any human at this point. We trust each others intent. 

August 7, 2022 I won a championship today.  Best day of the summer. 

August 9, 2022 10:57p.m.  I'm listening to a lot of Burna Boy. I just finished writing my new book. A couple edits. Add a book cover. And I'm releasing it by the end of the week. 

August 16, 2022 11:57a.m. I'm in Thessaloniki, the city I came in to the world. Lets play

August 20, 2022 12:29p.m. I just finished watching the national team of Greece comeback against Slovenia in 2007 in Madrid. It brought a tear to my eye. A team coming back in the final moments. Overcoming adversity and becoming victorious.

August 22, 2022 12:53a.m. Just vibe and stay disciplined.

August 28, 2022 2:36p.m. I've listened to the same song for the last hour. I've attempted to do the same thing in every city I've been the last year. I've been collecting the time for over 10,488 hours. I'm a master time keeper. They try to convince me of what happened, or what's happening but I keep all the data. I know who I am. I know where I am. But. at the same time, I know nothing at all.

September 21, 2022 8:06a.m. It's been awhile. A few things have happened. But maybe nothing at all. I've found a new library in Beverly Hills where I get all my books from. I found new art as well. I think my player is improving day by day. My mind is becoming sharper. My thoughts are becoming clearer.

My organization is becoming tighter. The balance of focus and dance is what I depend on.

October 17, 2022 5:06a.m. Sacrifice, discipline, doing something no one else is willing to do. 

November 12, 2022 6:03p.m. I was taught a valuable lesson this week. I can't make one mistake. I can't miss. And i'm unafraid to fail. 

November 21, 2022 6:07a.m. sometimes it gets ugly before it gets beautiful

November 28, 2022 10:14p.m. competing with what i am capable of

December 3, 2022 10:54a.m. The range is playing. Tears fills my eyes. Emotion fills my chest. I'm alone. No ones around me. I see my future clear as day. I feel the present with much awareness. Sacrifice is the name. Sacrifice is what's need to gain.

December 12, 2022 2:53a.m. I'm taking cold bath's everyday. Nearly a year ago I was taking cold showers everyday. I failed in my mission last year. It seems I'm back in a loop. I know longer fear. Give my best effort. Put my heart into it. And let's see what we can make of each day. Professional in my steps. 

December 20, 2022 7:43p.m. Championship vibes all around. But there's no participating in the festivities. The focus is still the same. Grow and improve. Step by step. The competition with myself will prepare me against the competition of the field.

January 1, 2023 10:58a.m Rick n Morty.

February 13, 2023 8:53p.m. I'm in Europe. What a journey to get here. 5 hours from where I was born. I've been here a month. I came from the end of the world. I feel as if I'm growing, putting in the time each day to increase my body My game. And my mindset. My birthday is tomorrow but hey the way it feels, everyday is my birthday. Let's see what we can make of this month.

February17,2023 8:53p.m. I put my mind towards it. I'm focused. The first checkpoint was yesterdays game.

We won. I had statistics of 33 points 7 assist and 6 rebounds. I'm happy with my performance. What I was thinking about during the game is what I value the most. The circumstances aren't always in a player's favor here. The environment could influence a lot of different thoughts. But I controlled those thoughts. I think I can improve on my brain, which will lead to better results and most importantly a better growing experience. 

March 1, 2023 2:44p.m. I look at the map. I take a peak at the competition. I think the young French player is good for the game. He's recognizable in the community. He's something no one has seen since Ralph Sampson. I think my route is the opposite as the restored old car. 

March 7, 2023 12:15p.m. The music is playing. My head bombs. I'm in my room. All alone. I feel like I'm becoming my child self. I feel different than the people I interact with. I think I see things differently. I have no explanations to give to my vision. It's as if I accept and expect no one to understand. I'll do most of my communication on the court, to help my team be on the same page. Other than that, it's me and my music.

March 12,2023 9:28p.m. It's been a week now that. i've began walking an. hour a day. I live on top of the hill and make my way into the city.  It helps with my patience. It helps with my movements. It allows me to really enjoy myself. My eyes are open.  I see more of the city walking than riding in taxis. There's a lot of stray cats and dogs in the street. It makes me miss my dog. Daamn.

April 3, 2023 10:06a.m. Hmmm. I play on a team with one coach. No trainers. No assistant coach. No equipment coordinator. No video coordinator. Just a coach with players. He's friends with most of the players. They call him by his first name. I don't think they are accountable enough to call him by his first name. It sort of strips him of his authority. I work everyday to improve. But we lose most of the games. I ask myself, is this the reward for the work i'm doing? But i can't stop. I must continue to improve. I feel like if i'm not improving. I'm getting worse. I need to figure out order, i think we can win the championship.

​

April 22, 2023, 10:51a.m. Uh oh - Spaghetti O's... (90s commercial jingle)

May 1, 2023 8:50a.m. The car is almost fully restored. I feel myself being able to take my body nearly anywhere I want on the court. I don't focus on stats to keep my player in the game. I focus on controlling the pace. Feeding the ball to my teammates so they can have as much fun as me while trying to win the game. Defense is communication, talking to create order. To allow them to know I have their back.

May 6, 2023 9:02a.m. The season is finished. First round exit in the playoffs. Losing isn't so good. We learned quite a bit. We developed the routine to feel more mobile and mentally focus. I'm thankful for the organization giving me the opportunity. I like the European time zone and playing here. I was born here. There were a lot of negative things that made the scenario difficult. But I feel I needed to go through that. I feel prepared.

May 27,  2023 10:12a.m. I have two things on my mind. Win it all and be the best.

March 8, 2024 17:18 been switching times zones more than clothes it feels like since my last entry. One thing I can say, everything exists on this planet. 

March 15, 2024 6:48am I'm in Los Angeles California. I'm seeing the world differently . I'm in the past. I received a message today that read, "Our society is so obsessed with what others are doing, we lose site of ourselves. And we get lost in comparison." I see that in the city of Los Angels. But is that the case in most of the world. Does instagram and social sites create that exact playground for us to get lost? 

March 23, 2024 9:14am I've been retaining my semen and drinking milk. I might bring back the Got Milk campaign. For those who don't know top athletes would promote milk to become stronger all wearing a milk mustache to perfection. I might need to perfect my milk mustache. 

March 29,2024 9:30am ha chu 

April 3, 2024 5:59pm Birthday parties and pickles

April 8, 2024 7:49am Impressive Matt Painter and Elliot Bloom. Who cares for the results they have the discipline and patience to build something for 20 years. And it has grown. 

May 11, 2024 Songs of the day : Will you be there by Michael Jackson, Meet me at our spot by WILLOW and Be my lover by La Bouche. As I come to the end of my basketball career, I take a look back. It seems I've gone about my professional career the same way I've gone about my education. I went into my senior year of high school with failing grades needed nearly perfect scores to get into college. Got into college. Got all F's before my last year of college, needed nearly perfect scores to participate in my last year. Participated in my last year. How can I turn a bad career to a fantastic ending, I must get the scores. Well how did I get the scores the last two times? Hahah I remember. Well, there's a lot on the table, and lot of work to do for it. Enjoy the music. Im sure I'll see you all at the show.

May 14, 2024 14:23 I wonder what my ratio is between positive thoughts and negative thoughts. I wonder what the human average is. Now that I think about what's even the point of thinking negative? I gotta get that ratio to all positive. Is it possible? Maybe I've already lived in such a way already. Song of the day : Failed at Math by Panchiko (gruff rhys remix)

May 20,2024 18:43  I think I understand how Ludwig van Beethoven went deaf. I wake up and turn the music on max volume. Favorite songs at the moment : Christine and the Queens - People I've been sad. Christine and the Queens - Tilted. Christine and the Queens - Full of Life.

June 7th, 202415:40 I make really odd sounds when I'm alone. I also really love odd numbers.1, 11, 3, 317, 11:11, 111, and your mom ;)

W.

​

April 19th, 2025 4:13 I've been in the cocoon since August. Working on myself. Growing my wings. I'm glad to be back. I can tell the difference in my own thoughts and the sound of the crowd

April 28th, 2025 4:28. It's morning, the stars still illuminate the sky. I just stretched, so I'm feeling a little limber. I wonder the value of words. Would we like our pets as much as we do if they could speak? I'm not sure I've ever convinced anyone of anything with my words. Maybe I've convinced them of something, just not what I was trying to convince them of. I have good direction in my life at the moment, my eyes serve me well. My mouth however only does its part for eating. I'm thinking... hmmm. In this moment I'm writing my thoughts. But if there were somewhere in front of me I wouldn't have anything to say. I think overall I have nothing to say. Simply the desire to do things. Conclusion: spoken words invaluable. 

May 15, 2025 5:33am patience. 

June 14, 2025 4:29pm June 14 2021, is when I started recording my days. hahah. that is funny to me. My head bobs while I jam out to some tunes. Niska - Jota.

June 21, 2025 10:24pm Well the United States bombed Iran. Ones focus must go up. We live in a world in which people bomb each other.

June 24, 2025 8:05am When I look back on things, anything. I love it all. The positives. The negatives. Everything. I love it. What a beautiful world and a beautiful life. 

July 9, 2025 2:01p.m. Ive regained my patience .I feel I was living in a nonstop rushed way for quite sometime. I've been learning German. Practicing the language makes me laugh every time I study.  it's so funny to me. very funny .I need someone to practice with but I can't go searching. I'm living in a way in which it must fall on my lap.