STAMBI
FEEL
When basketball student-athlete Judah is dismissed from his second university in two years he must face the music. The worldly carefree Judah is presumed as ignorant for continuously landing himself in trouble. Despite always being in trouble, Judah always feels like there's logic to his decision making.
Not surprised at all that he's been kicked out of another university. Judah believes he can still find a way to become successful in this world. Through being himself, his friendships and network Judah embarks on an audacious journey to try to salvage his career when it looks like he has nothing left.
The first book of the fictional three book series. Love, Lust, Party Favors, Money and Fame. Do these things motivate or distract an amateur in pursuit to become a pro. A first-person narrative, told from the perspective of protagonist Judah.
WASSER CLOUDS
By Stambi W.
I look up. The ceiling is white. White as half of my wardrobe. There are two lamps that are on opposite corners in the room, that give it light.
I lay flat on my back, as I communicate with the doctor whose seated upright in a chair besides me. I haven’t given her a second of eye contact since laying on my back. My focus directed internally as I seek for help. Seek for structure. Direction moving forward with the next chapter of my life.
“In a relationship Kelsey, it’s all about balance. Fulfilling the needs of your partner, while also communicating your own needs. Remember, people can’t read minds,” says the psychiatrist.
“I can understand that,” I respond.
My eyes remain on the ceiling. Wondering where she is going with this statement.
“What do you think of a list?” She asks.
“What kind of list?”
“A list of your needs. You’re beginning a journey with someone full time. Maybe you should write a list of your needs. Then request her to write a list of her needs,” she adds.
“What would be an example of a need?”
“If you think of a traditional patriarchal relationship, maybe the man would request dinner on the table when he arrives home…”
My mind shifts from the words coming from the doctor’s mouth, to the actual structure of my relationship. I don’t see it as a typical patriarchal relationship. In the last 14 years. Mostly I’ve lived without a kitchen. Traveling place to place, requesting to live in hotels for the service. But what are my needs?
I remember nine years ago, I was at a basketball seminar and the orchestrator of the seminar asked the same question. “What do you need from your girlfriend, wife or partner?” A player answered he needed sex on demand. The orchestrator asked what he meant by that. He stated that if he woke up in the middle of the night, and she was sleep. She should allow him to stick it in. The crowd gave a woah. He proceeded to give some logical explanation in his head, that I don’t quite remember.
But what are my needs? Do I want to stick it in on demand? Yea of course. Why not? But I’m not sure if that’s a need.
“I’m not sure I have any needs doctor,” I say.
“We all have needs Kelsey. And it’s always beset if we communicate those things up front,”
For the first time in the 30 minutes since being here. I sit up. I look to the doctor. I read her face.
She’s focused.
She’s engaged.
She has a face to help.
But, I don’t agree. I heard a quote from a gentleman. He said something along the lines of “I have this dream… That my grand kids will be able to float. They will be so un programmed by society that they’ll come to me one day and say, “Hey grand dad, look at me. I can float. And they will be levitating in the air floating.”
There’s all these rules that we are taught. Rules on how we should behave. Rules on how we should move. Rules on how we should look. Rules on how things should go between certain types of interactions. Rules on what men should do. Rules on what women should do.
Most of the time we accept these rules to some degree. We live by them. We associate a feeling. A structure. A ranking of others based on how people follow these rules. These rules give structure for the billions of people on planet to coexist. But do these rules holds us back more than they help?
“What’s on your mind Kelsey?”
I stand up, I walk to the mirror in the room. I guess what’s on my mind is what curriculum the psychiatrist is working under. What rules has she been instructed to follow when expressing her profession. I can’t think of a single need to add to the list. Not one. Nothing comes to mind. I don’t want my girlfriend to cook. I don’t want her to feel obligated to the laundry. To rub my feet. She doesn’t need to do make up for me to find her attractive. She doesn’t have to provide me kids. What do I need from her I think.
I look at myself in the mirror. I’m not sure how I look. I feel energized. I feel motivated. But what I see in the mirror is someone I trust. Someone I believe in. Someone that will have a great time.
“Kelsey?” The doctor asks.
I turn from the mirror and give her my attention. Me standing. Her sitting.
“Yes,” I respond.
“What’s on your mind?”
“I was thinking of my needs at first. Then I put the focus on who I saw myself as in the mirror.”
“And what did you come up with,”
I walk to the couch and take a seat. Lay on my back. I feel it’s best I’m in the suggested position for her to do her job.
“I suppose the only need I have is, for her not to doubt.”
“Doubt what?”
“I’m not sure what exactly. But more to believe. To believe I’m on her side. To believe I want to see her spread her wings and fly above the rest. Or with the rest if they can keep up. Believe she is destined for something great. Something beyond her imagination. To believe that when tough times come. When times of misunderstanding come. It’s just apart of the process for her greatness. Part of the process for her to have the most fun,” I say.
“I’ve never had an answer like…” The doctor begins to say.
I feel a drop of water splash onto my head. Out of nowhere it’s as if the ceiling is leaking. I shift my body quickly to avoid more drops. I turn my attention to the window. Where the rain is coming down more than I’ve ever seen. The water has the doctor’s attention. Her eyes glued to the ceiling. I turn my attention above. I’m sure she’s thinking the same thing I’m thinking.
Will the ceiling cave in? Water dripping from all spaces of the ceiling. The room filled with water as if a cloud managed to get inside.
“Doctor! What’s going on?” I say with my voice raised over the loud sound of the raindrops.
The water comes down faster.
No answer from the doctor.
Not one I can hear at least.
I’m soaked.
The water coming down so fast, I can’t make out anything in the room. I can’t even see the doctor, who is just a few feet away.
It’s overwhelming. It’s becoming difficult to breath as the water comes down faster and faster. Accumulating on the floor. A pool forming. Growing larger in size by the second.
Am I going to drown on the 5th floor of this building? No fucking way.
“Doctor!” I scream.
I have no idea where she is. The water is already to my knees. I can’t leave her here. But I do need to get the fuck out. At least open the door so the water can flow into a bigger space. I can’t imagine what’s happening outside for this much water to be pouring in here.
I make my way as quick as I can to the door. I trip. I trip over the couch I’ve been laying on. I fall into the pool of water. I feel stuck. The water over my head. I have no air. I can’t see anything. I can’t feel anything. Just wetness. I try not to panic.
I close my eyes. Everything goes dark.
I open them.
I’m in my room.
I look down to my waist.
I’m relieved.
It’s my girlfriend.
Sucking my dick, waking me up from my sleep.
The End.
The Tale of The Steak & The Burger
By: Stambi W.
There once was a young man who was the most talented young man in all of the land.
The young man had a girlfriend who was equally as talented as the young man and the most beautiful young woman around. It’s as if the young man had everything.
The only issue was, it was the first year since leaving his parents home and he just couldn’t seem to stay out of trouble.
Every other week he was involved in something troublesome. These negative things he became involved in, began to give him a bad boy reputation. Everyone in the land knew of his troubles.
Though the troubles kept occurring, the young man was clever enough and had a certain charm about himself to continuously get out receiving true punishment.
His ability to get away with everything triggered the other young men of the land to envy him. The others felt the young man was allowed to do whatever he pleased, how he pleased and the rules didn’t apply to him because they never saw any true punishment.
It didn’t help that the young man had the most beautiful young woman in the land. She was so beautiful, every young man wished for her to be his own.
All the young men in the land who knew her would tell her lies about the young man. They wanted her to look at him differently, trust him differently, not like him as much in order to steal her away from him.
The young woman never left the young man but from hearing so many negative things about him, she began to bring negativity in his life. She began to question him. She began to compare him to other young men. She began to take less talented people more seriously. She began to stress the young man out by arguing with him over the pettiest of things everyday.
The stress caused the young man to lose sight of his goals. He began to solely focus on how to instill confidence in the young woman, who had become insecure like he couldn’t have imagined.
He was never able to instill confidence in the young woman. It was as if the more he tried to help her instead of focusing on himself the more problems would come his way. He began to lose most of his cleverness and charm in the process. He lost himself.
He began to live out the lies that were told about him.
He began having to deal with the consequences of his troubles and started to notice that he couldn’t get away with anything anymore. His judgment was clouded, he couldn’t seem to understand why everything all of a sudden was failing.
It was the night of the holiday feast. People of the land gather around each year with loved ones and family to celebrate the year. At this point the young man had lost just about everything. He still had the beautiful young woman as a girlfriend. Regardless of the stress and little opportunity left in the land for him to be successful, all he could focus on was the young woman.
The young man was sitting alone, enjoying the festivities of the feast when Abe approached him. Abe was the King of the land. The ruler. The most successful man.
When Abe was a young man, he was the most talented and clever man of his generation. Even now Abe carries these same traits.
Everyone in land respected Abe and even more so his wife. His wife was the most beautiful woman in the land. Carried herself properly and was the Queen.
Abe took a seat next to the young man and began to speak,
“Young man, I’ve been hearing a lot of things about you. It’s weird. People either tell me the greatest things about you, or the worst things about you. Some people who tell me terrible things one day, tell me great things about you the next… So I think to myself, what’s going on with such a young man. You’re talented, everyone in the land knows you’re talented. You’re handsome, you’re smart, and you come from a good family. Now young man, do you have a girlfriend?”
The young man has known Abe his entire life, regardless of the age gap they always joke around together and bounce ideas off of one another. The conversation felt like any old conversation that he and Abe would have.
“I do.” The young man responded.
“Can I see her?” Abe responded back.
The young man pulls out a picture of the young woman from his pocket and shows Abe.
“Wow. Impressive. She must be the most beautiful young woman in the land looking like that.”
The young man couldn’t help but blush and feel pleased that Abe the king of the land showed approval of his girlfriend.
“That’s what they say Abe.” The young man responded.
“You know young man the first year I moved from my families home, I had a roommate. My roommate was from a farm. One of those guys that lives, breathe’s and dies by the farm but decided to go to University… Young man, my roommate would sleep with a different young woman every week. He was a good looking man but the women he slept with looked all kinds of ways. One fat, one skinny, one ugly, one beautiful, one dark, one light. I swear young man. The farmer slept with anything and everything he could. So I asked him one day, Farmer why must you sleep with so many young women. Why not be more selective with who you choose to sleep with. He told me,” Abe when I’m old, married, with kids and I’m sitting on my rocking chair on my porch smoking a pipe. I want to close my eyes, remember and picture all the women I had slept with when I was a young man. I won’t be able to sleep with any other women when I’m married, so my memory reel of women will give me much satisfaction. Satisfaction knowing that my wife is better than some of the ugly ones. Satisfaction knowing that at least at one point I had some great ones. And it’ll all remind me why I picked my wife. And I’ll be happy.” Young man this is what the farmer told me.” Said Abe.
The young man laughed as Abe shared the story of the farmer roommate.
“Yes I laughed too when the farmer told me his plan.” Abe said.
They both laugh for a minute.
“So listen young man. You’ve seen my wife the queen, yes?” Abe asked the young man.
“I have.” The young man responded timidly.
“She’s the most beautiful woman in all of the land with the most discipline, yes?” Abe asked the young man.
“I don’t think anyone could argue that.” The young man responded.
“My wife young man is definitely the most beautiful woman in the land with the most discipline. And if women are beef young man, my wife is a steak. Kobe Beef type of steak.
…And you know what you need to know about Kobe Beef Steak? It’s expensive. It cost. It takes time to cook. It needs a little seasoning. It needs a massage. If cooked properly it taste really good. And It makes you feel well.
…A woman with no discipline is ugly. And if women are beef young man, an ugly woman is ground beef. An ugly woman is a cheap burger.
… And you know a cheap burger is cheap. Doesn’t cost much. Takes no time to cook. If cooked properly taste pretty good. But it makes you feel terrible later.
…What you need to know about a beautiful woman is they too cost. Money, time and energy. I wake up and the Queen says, “Abe I want a Mercedes Benz.” I’m trying to help everyone in the land be able to live correctly and the Queen says,” Abe I want ten vacations this year.” Before I go to sleep after dealing with every type of person and I’m a little tired, the Queen says, “Abe I want to have sex.”
…I must buy her cars from the Formula One.
…I must take her on Vacations to places that you feel like you’re on another planet.
…I must perform in bed like a porn star.
…Young man she asks me these questions everyday. Everyday I provide everything my wife asks of me.
…But it wasn’t always like this young man. When I was a young man she stressed me out and I focused on giving her confidence due to the insecurities she had about me.
…When I was focusing on my wife’s insecurities, I wasn’t able to provide anything for her.
…The only way I’m able to provide everything for my wife now. I trust myself, I focus on bettering myself and by bettering myself, I’m able to better her. I’m able to provide everything for my wife that she asks of me.
…So I’m sure this girlfriend of yours is stressing you out like most beautiful young women do at your age. Influencing you to focus on the wrong things. So it’s time to focus on yourself. Better yourself. And right now in my opinion if the steak girlfriend you have is making you go broke. Get rid of her and put more into yourself. And if you get hungry go get a burger. You’re still young.
…When I was young I wanted to eat steak everyday. I’m married now young man. I’ve been with my wife ever since I was your age. I’m committed to my wife. I’m eating steak every day since I can remember young man.
…Sometimes I think of the farmer and if I would’ve ate a few more burgers myself when I was young. I would at least be able to go to my memory reel. And get the same satisfaction he’s probably getting right now on his rocking chair.
Somedays I wake up young man. After all these years of eating steak. Somedays I just want a burger.
THE END.
THOUGHTS
by Stambi W.
February 8, 2022 I cried today watching my team play. I was unable to participate because of my shoulder. I'm a player who wants to always be in the game. It's a moment of adversity for me. I'm ready for the challenge.
February 16. 2022 I woke up in the Ocean Reef Club. I was just in Montevideo, Uruguay. Polar opposite communities. If Montevideo is dirty, ORC is clean. My shoulder weirdly enough feels 10x better. I think of my experience in Montevideo. I've put more time into basketball than any player on the planet. I was born on the court. But I disrespected the basketball Gods early on in my career. They punished me and put me in basketball prison.
I've finally been released from basketball prison. Free at last. It's time to take my player to the appropriate stage and perform.
February 22, 2022 I find myself crying a lot lately. I haven't expressed myself in such a way so consistently since I was 10 years old. It feels good. I think it's a healthy expression. As a player being productive is the most important. The personality of the player is something that draws in fans. This new crying thing is shaping my personality into something that makes me smile when I look into the mirror. I feel pure.
March 1, 2022 I just had breakfast with a consultant from Munich here in Kitzbühel at the Grand Hotel. She's been a consult for four years at the firm and began asking me questions about basketball. I informed her I record everything I do. She mentioned I would be an easy client to work for because I keep the data. It's a moment of I knew it. Hahaha. We spoke about different things to maximise the potential of an athlete, and whose the right sponsor for a player.
March 4, 2022 I just landed in Miami from Istanbul, Turkey. I'm having some deja vu. The last time i landed in the States from Istanbul I was triggered by this emotion by a conversation I had on the flight. That emotion triggered me to begin writing books. Since then I've written 30 books. I had a conversation on this flight that triggered me in a way. I wonder what I will do next.
March 8, 2022 I'm wearing Csillag, I feel like a Star. Sarah sits next to me as we rest our feet on the hardwood floor. It's a close game in the city that Naps. The Cavaliers gather in their huddle. Minutes earlier, I witness Rajon Rondo give instructions to JB. I asked Rondo the question, "Are you the coach?" . He smiled and immediately pointed at JB. I then laughed. But now, it's a close game in the city that Naps. Late game situation, and the Cavaliers have the ball. I catch eyes with Rondo. "Tween, tween, step back from 40!" insinuating this should be the play call for the Cavaliers to go for the win in Indianapolis. He replied, "What's that book you're reading?" . Fuck, I ended up looking down. Grabbing the book, and lifting it up for him to read the title.
1-0 Rondo? I'm not sure.
The Cavaliers won the game.
:(
March 21, 2022 I feel like I look like the player I created all those years on FIFA.
March 30, 2022 I'm at the Ocean Reef Club. I think about the community. The members, equity and social. The guest. The workers. Everyone that makes up the reef. I went and shot some hoops today and thought to myself, " Stambi you've never shot a gun. At least not one you buy from the gun store. But you probably have the best gun on the reef. Does this mean I have the best gun in the world?". I see my arm, my hand, and my fingers as my gun. My basketball shot as my gun. I think I have the best gun in the world.
April 4, 2022 Monday 3:47am
SONGS
The Korgi's - Everybody's Gotta Learn Sometime
Beverly Glenn-Copeland - Sunset Village
NLE Choppa - Yak Flow
Yeat - Dub
Gazo - EUPHON
April 22, 2022 Friday 3:24am I just ate two plates of pasta. blah
April 26, 2022 Tuesday 3:53pm Real Madrid vs Manchester City. An absolute show. It makes me feel like a kid, wanting to be out there on the pitch but dissapointed i'm not old enough or strong enough to participate. Holy fuck. I am old enough. I'm 6'5 , with muscle and speed. Let me go work out.
June 13, 2022 Monday 7:35 I'm in between Towne & Ditch. I see a field goal, baseball helmet, soccer goal, all belongings to a child. I'm Indy. I smell sports. I feel competition all around. I'm not where I want to be, but I am a player. The best in the game. So today, I'm going to see if I can make a little magic. Attempt 1, here we go.
June 15, 2022 Wednesday 12:47 I've figured out the formula to build the best vehicle. The only question is can I fully build it in a month's time.
June 26, 2022 Sunday 8:04 I listen to french music. I'm telling you. 5/10 I am listening to french music. Right now I'm listening to Aya nakamura - Plus Jamais (feat. Stormzy). Lee MG is my favorite french artist. He's from Lille. Oh yea, also. I have added three teams of interest to my interest list. The Charlotte Hornets. Paris Basketball Club. Detroit Pistons. I'm headed to the Carmel Dad's Club to watch Ron Rutland's son play some hoops.
June 29, 2022 Wednesday 8:03 I look out the window I see the water. I'm reminded of all the tears I've cried. I'm reminded of all the people who have told me I don't have emotions. I'm reminded of my aol screename thefaucett. I'm reminded that the present is what matters. g2g.
July 5, 2022 Tuesday 11:22 Just Dance.
July 18, 2022 Monday 4:30 am.
1:20am - downlaod music
1:48am - pee
1:49am - brush teeth
1:54am - stretch
2:27am - eat honeydew
2:38am - Porsche to gym
3:03am - body workout
3:50am - protein shake
3:50am - shave
3:58am - pee
4:04am - poop
We're ready to play.
July 22, 2022 Friday 12:07 Miles and Bailee are stretching. Miles is 4. Bailee is 6. They think all is possible. I relate to them more than any human at this point. We trust each others intent.
August 7, 2022 I won a championship today. Best day of the summer.
August 9, 2022 10:57p.m. I'm listening to a lot of Burna Boy. I just finished writing my new book. A couple edits. Add a book cover. And I'm releasing it by the end of the week.
August 16, 2022 11:57a.m. I'm in Thessaloniki, the city I came in to the world. Lets play
August 20, 2022 12:29p.m. I just finished watching the national team of Greece comeback against Slovenia in 2007 in Madrid. It brought a tear to my eye. A team coming back in the final moments. Overcoming adversity and becoming victorious.
August 22, 2022 12:53a.m. Just vibe and stay disciplined.
August 28, 2022 2:36p.m. I've listened to the same song for the last hour. I've attempted to do the same thing in every city I've been the last year. I've been collecting the time for over 10,488 hours. I'm a master time keeper. They try to convince me of what happened, or what's happening but I keep all the data. I know who I am. I know where I am. But. at the same time, I know nothing at all.
September 21, 2022 8:06a.m. It's been awhile. A few things have happened. But maybe nothing at all. I've found a new library in Beverly Hills where I get all my books from. I found new art as well. I think my player is improving day by day. My mind is becoming sharper. My thoughts are becoming clearer.
My organization is becoming tighter. The balance of focus and dance is what I depend on.
October 17, 2022 5:06a.m. Sacrifice, discipline, doing something no one else is willing to do.
November 12, 2022 6:03p.m. I was taught a valuable lesson this week. I can't make one mistake. I can't miss. And i'm unafraid to fail.
November 21, 2022 6:07a.m. sometimes it gets ugly before it gets beautiful
November 28, 2022 10:14p.m. competing with what i am capable of
December 3, 2022 10:54a.m. The range is playing. Tears fills my eyes. Emotion fills my chest. I'm alone. No ones around me. I see my future clear as day. I feel the present with much awareness. Sacrifice is the name. Sacrifice is what's need to gain.
December 12, 2022 2:53a.m. I'm taking cold bath's everyday. Nearly a year ago I was taking cold showers everyday. I failed in my mission last year. It seems I'm back in a loop. I know longer fear. Give my best effort. Put my heart into it. And let's see what we can make of each day. Professional in my steps.
December 20, 2022 7:43p.m. Championship vibes all around. But there's no participating in the festivities. The focus is still the same. Grow and improve. Step by step. The competition with myself will prepare me against the competition of the field.
January 1, 2023 10:58a.m Rick n Morty.
February 13, 2023 8:53p.m. I'm in Europe. What a journey to get here. 5 hours from where I was born. I've been here a month. I came from the end of the world. I feel as if I'm growing, putting in the time each day to increase my body My game. And my mindset. My birthday is tomorrow but hey the way it feels, everyday is my birthday. Let's see what we can make of this month.
February17,2023 8:53p.m. I put my mind towards it. I'm focused. The first checkpoint was yesterdays game.
We won. I had statistics of 33 points 7 assist and 6 rebounds. I'm happy with my performance. What I was thinking about during the game is what I value the most. The circumstances aren't always in a player's favor here. The environment could influence a lot of different thoughts. But I controlled those thoughts. I think I can improve on my brain, which will lead to better results and most importantly a better growing experience.
March 1, 2023 2:44p.m. I look at the map. I take a peak at the competition. I think the young French player is good for the game. He's recognizable in the community. He's something no one has seen since Ralph Sampson. I think my route is the opposite as the restored old car.
March 7, 2023 12:15p.m. The music is playing. My head bombs. I'm in my room. All alone. I feel like I'm becoming my child self. I feel different than the people I interact with. I think I see things differently. I have no explanations to give to my vision. It's as if I accept and expect no one to understand. I'll do most of my communication on the court, to help my team be on the same page. Other than that, it's me and my music.
March 12,2023 9:28p.m. It's been a week now that. i've began walking an. hour a day. I live on top of the hill and make my way into the city. It helps with my patience. It helps with my movements. It allows me to really enjoy myself. My eyes are open. I see more of the city walking than riding in taxis. There's a lot of stray cats and dogs in the street. It makes me miss my dog. Daamn.
April 3, 2023 10:06a.m. Hmmm. I play on a team with one coach. No trainers. No assistant coach. No equipment coordinator. No video coordinator. Just a coach with players. He's friends with most of the players. They call him by his first name. I don't think they are accountable enough to call him by his first name. It sort of strips him of his authority. I work everyday to improve. But we lose most of the games. I ask myself, is this the reward for the work i'm doing? But i can't stop. I must continue to improve. I feel like if i'm not improving. I'm getting worse. I need to figure out order, i think we can win the championship.
​
April 22, 2023, 10:51a.m. Uh oh - Spaghetti O's... (90s commercial jingle)
May 1, 2023 8:50a.m. The car is almost fully restored. I feel myself being able to take my body nearly anywhere I want on the court. I don't focus on stats to keep my player in the game. I focus on controlling the pace. Feeding the ball to my teammates so they can have as much fun as me while trying to win the game. Defense is communication, talking to create order. To allow them to know I have their back.
May 6, 2023 9:02a.m. The season is finished. First round exit in the playoffs. Losing isn't so good. We learned quite a bit. We developed the routine to feel more mobile and mentally focus. I'm thankful for the organization giving me the opportunity. I like the European time zone and playing here. I was born here. There were a lot of negative things that made the scenario difficult. But I feel I needed to go through that. I feel prepared.
May 27, 2023 10:12a.m. I have two things on my mind. Win it all and be the best.
March 8, 2024 17:18 been switching times zones more than clothes it feels like since my last entry. One thing I can say, everything exists on this planet.
March 15, 2024 6:48am I'm in Los Angeles California. I'm seeing the world differently . I'm in the past. I received a message today that read, "Our society is so obsessed with what others are doing, we lose site of ourselves. And we get lost in comparison." I see that in the city of Los Angels. But is that the case in most of the world. Does instagram and social sites create that exact playground for us to get lost?
March 23, 2024 9:14am I've been retaining my semen and drinking milk. I might bring back the Got Milk campaign. For those who don't know top athletes would promote milk to become stronger all wearing a milk mustache to perfection. I might need to perfect my milk mustache.
March 29,2024 9:30am ha chu
April 3, 2024 5:59pm Birthday parties and pickles
April 8, 2024 7:49am Impressive Matt Painter and Elliot Bloom. Who cares for the results they have the discipline and patience to build something for 20 years. And it has grown.
May 11, 2024 Songs of the day : Will you be there by Michael Jackson, Meet me at our spot by WILLOW and Be my lover by La Bouche. As I come to the end of my basketball career, I take a look back. It seems I've gone about my professional career the same way I've gone about my education. I went into my senior year of high school with failing grades needed nearly perfect scores to get into college. Got into college. Got all F's before my last year of college, needed nearly perfect scores to participate in my last year. Participated in my last year. How can I turn a bad career to a fantastic ending, I must get the scores. Well how did I get the scores the last two times? Hahah I remember. Well, there's a lot on the table, and lot of work to do for it. Enjoy the music. Im sure I'll see you all at the show.
May 14, 2024 14:23 I wonder what my ratio is between positive thoughts and negative thoughts. I wonder what the human average is. Now that I think about what's even the point of thinking negative? I gotta get that ratio to all positive. Is it possible? Maybe I've already lived in such a way already. Song of the day : Failed at Math by Panchiko (gruff rhys remix)
May 20,2024 18:43 I think I understand how Ludwig van Beethoven went deaf. I wake up and turn the music on max volume. Favorite songs at the moment : Christine and the Queens - People I've been sad. Christine and the Queens - Tilted. Christine and the Queens - Full of Life.
June 7th, 202415:40 I make really odd sounds when I'm alone. I also really love odd numbers.1, 11, 3, 317, 11:11, 111, and your mom ;)
W.
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April 19th, 2025 4:13 I've been in the cocoon since August. Working on myself. Growing my wings. I'm glad to be back. I can tell the difference in my own thoughts and the sound of the crowd
April 28th, 2025 4:28. It's morning, the stars still illuminate the sky. I just stretched, so I'm feeling a little limber. I wonder the value of words. Would we like our pets as much as we do if they could speak? I'm not sure I've ever convinced anyone of anything with my words. Maybe I've convinced them of something, just not what I was trying to convince them of. I have good direction in my life at the moment, my eyes serve me well. My mouth however only does its part for eating. I'm thinking... hmmm. In this moment I'm writing my thoughts. But if there were somewhere in front of me I wouldn't have anything to say. I think overall I have nothing to say. Simply the desire to do things. Conclusion: spoken words invaluable.
May 15, 2025 5:33am patience.
Favorite Books
1. Charlie Bone Series by Jennie Nimmo
2. Endgame by James Frey
3. The Inner Game of Tennis by W. Timothy Gallwey
4. Faster by Neal Bascomb
5. Flirting With Catastrophe by Stambi W
.6. Breathe by James Nestor
7. Women by Charles Bukowski
8. How to Watch Basketball Like a Genius by Nick Greene
9. All the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss
10. Shoe Dog by Phil Knight